Friday 15 January 2016

#CandyCrush

Okay, so. Yesterday, I was caught up amidst a discussion about the game known as “Candy Crush Saga” and its equally known counterpart, “Candy Crush Soda Saga”. Everyone has just one thing to bitch about: Candy Crush is so addicting.

I have friends saying that this game has been ruining their concentration and also their so-called precious time. But, if the game is addicting, why did they start playing it, after all? Anything which leads to addiction is bad. Like, Arvind Kejriwal has recently started being addicted to making controversies. But to this question, they have an answer too. “How would we know?”

Well. It’s pretty simple. I mean, don’t tell me that you are not addicted to ‘Candies’. Having a ‘Crush’ is also an addiction. You get addicted to people with no reason at all. Soda? Well, wine is best when tasted with soda. *wink* Again, Soda is related to addiction. Saga? We all like to watch/read epics over and over again. <3 And, there you go! “Candy Crush Saga” or “Candy Crush Soda Saga” is all about addiction. King had already warned people of this cheap game before even setting a description of it. The name says it all: The "addiction", the requests, the bears (why do we even save them?) and everything!

And wait a minute. Why is a game even an “addiction”? Addiction is a serious term. It’s a disease. It needs treatment. Addictive substances have pharmacokinetic properties, which changes human behavior chemically. A game is just a game! Still, no matter who I ask… “I really am addicted to this game. It’s so tough to leave”. People suppress their appetite for playing this game. I mean, how? How can a game give rise to so much joblessness?

What's bad about this game? It makes you beg. For a life. Which you already have. Don't you? #EnoughSaid It makes you beg for lives from your enemies too. Yeah. 

I hear some people bragging about their scores. I ask them, "What's your score?". "Its 10000000000...". Dude, just because numbers come for free? Give me that figure. I'll use it for my upcoming Mathematics exams. It will surely get me into an IIT.

What’s interesting in this game? The fishes, who randomly pops a candy? I mean, what’s the concept behind this move? It never helps.. Okay, it does, but only in specific levels. 

The only thing I like about this game is the hammer booster. It allows me to break the ice. *Thank God for such stuff*

Why would I even want to bring candies together, who doesn’t want to be together?

You know, I hate stuff which are tough to do. All my acquaintances, who love Candy Crush, hate stuff which are tough to do. Wait. Why do you love Candy Crush then? It’s tough. It’s made tough deliberately. Because they know. We love stuff which are hard, provided they are unproductive and involves no use of brain. People argue that playing a game needs IQ. I say, yes. Only brain games need IQ. “No, even Candy Crush does.” You need IQ to pop candies just by matching them in 3s and 4s? Really? You just need eyes, which see the caste system run successfully every day.

Whenever you open the app, there’s this so irritatingly addictive music playing. Even Krishna Bhagwan's flute music felt better. #HeavenlySwag

These games violate the ever honest sentence: Practice makes a man perfect. Here, the more you practice and keep crossing levels, the more you become impoverished.


Concluding, I would like to say. Please guys. Play Candy Crush. But, don’t send us anymore requests to join such an insane bar where bursting candies can give rise to orgasms. We don’t need them. Thank You. :)

*Do recommend my blog, if you like my posts. :)* 

Monday 11 January 2016

#PakistanIndia


Everyone’s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there’s really an easy way: Stop participating in it.” 

Wait. What?

“How do you defeat terrorism? Don’t be terrorized.”

Oh my… I wish we could.

Here’s this. No person who is “actually” worried about terrorism, would participate in terrorism. It’s the terrorists who participate. That’s all.

We can’t defeat terrorism simply by being not terrorized. Like literally.

Yes, the government can.



The recent Pathankot Attack in India was an example of how the Government can screw a healthy, peaceful country atmosphere. Our PM has done what he thought was right. The sudden visit to Pakistan must have been his “Mann ki Baat”; only that he decided to earn all credit for himself. Not forgetting that he was busy in making a record of the most number of foreign visits, let’s take the clue from there too. 




Trying to revive a broken friendship is not helpless. But, the PM has showed us what happens when we try to fix a broken friendship according to Wiki How (http://www.wikihow.com/Fix-a-Broken-Friendship Check this if you didn’t get the reference). Seriously, Wiki How. Stop making people believe that shit. Wiki How has this intention of trying to help… everyone… on the… planet. Like, how to drink more… water… every day. Well…




The PM, of course, had no bad intentions. But, the terrorists had. And, they did what they are born for: Die.


The film, “Bajrangi Bhaijaan” portrayed the so called I-will-always-support-you relationship between the common people of India and Pakistan. 

Even after strong evidences, this is what we get to see on Twitter.



And this. #PassiveAgression



Wah!



#Endians










To have an idea of where actually our relationship with Pakistan stands, check out this video by AIB:


So, what has the “peace process” between Pakistan and India done?

Nothing.
This is as useless as trying to teach extrovert people what “introvert” means (try doing it).


Try recalling history. Though it is called the “peace” process, it always led to terrorism. Look at the present scenario. Like, the Aamir Khan Story. For India, Intolerance=Pakistan chaley jao. Kya yaar, aur koi country nahi mila?

For Pakistan, Intolerance=India mein bomb phodo! *no comments*

Humari desh mein toh siblings ke beech bhi peace process nahi chalta. There’s always this brother/sister who behaves like Arvind Kejriwal.

It’s just that both the people of India and Pakistan are suffering from what ‘Johnny’, the duplicate of ‘Mamaji’ of the movie “Humshakals” was suffering from (well done, Sajid Khan). Just replace the process of “sneezing” with “peace”.

So, people of great stands! The only way to stop these terror attacks: Stop the Peace Process. That’s it.

At least, try not to attend birthday parties at Pakistan, without letting security forces know.